GUYS!!!!

And of course by "guys," I am referring to the 2 of you that read my blog...

I was just so excited about the prospect of a new post, that I had to shout GUYS! in all caps and everything.

Soooo, In case you haven't heard... I have a daughter, and of course by "a daughter," naturally, I mean the most; Outstanding, Beautiful, Funny, FAT, Smiley, Sweet, Precious of daughters.

So to recap, in case you haven't heard... I have the most oustanding beautiful funny fat smiley sweet precious daughter OF all time. I know I know, that there are some of you (the 2 of you who read this) that either do already have a daughter, or may have one in the very near future, are thinking, "Hey buddy, what about MY daughter???" Valid point, yes: Relevant, NO ;)

Juuuuuuust kidding, I have alotted a few words just for such an occasion, I mean, all the good things can possibly be consumed my one of MY children. (yes, yes they can). The following are words that your respective children can "outshine" my little one at:

Nonpoopy
Nonspitbubbleblowy
Nonwobbly
NonTOOcute (don't get me wrong, this kind of cute is quite dangerous, such symptoms include but are not limited to; drowsiness from losing sleep while staring at baby, income definciency, rapid time elapses, fatness due to lack of motivation to exersize when too focused on baby, wobbliness, slobbermouth kisses, blindness in ONE eye, etc...)
Nontimewasterbysleepingallthewaythroughthenight...er (Such a waste of time, honestly, where did we go wrong here)
Nonsuspiciouslyquietand"good"inallsituationsincludingpublicvenuessuchasrestaurantsandbowlingalleys...er (who wants to spend their days having to be suspicious of their 3 month old, I mean, what is she up to really?)
NonFAT
Nonfootballlover

See! Now who can say I don't play fair?!?! I mean, really, I might as well be venting about my poopy spitbubbleblowy wobbly TOOcute timewasterbysleepingallthewaythroughthenight supspiciouslyquietand"good"inallsituationsincludingpublicvenuessuchasrestaurantsandbowlingalleys nonFAT footballliving Daughter, rather than "bragging" about her being the most outstanding beautiful funny fat smiley sweet precious daughter OF all time! I mean, come on people, read between the lines here. Obviously this is a cry for help, and on the information superhighway of all places! Will you answer the call, WILL YOU???