SE7EN

So, to start, I apologize for not posting anything lately, I know you were all waiting up at night clicking the little "refresh" button on your computer's over and over again to see what I'd write next, and to see what new exciting run-on sentences I could actually manage to just keep "running on" without any final punctuation in sight regardless of how many times it actually appeared that a "period" or "Exclamation point" would be placed appropriately?

Anyways! I have also learned that the template graphic of two of the most influencial Actors in probably the most influencial film of it's time, may have a slight reference to violent situations. As a result, I have modified my backround to make sure no one (Jaye :)) is offended.

Now on to the topic at hand, "SE7EN." (did you see the clever use of the Number 7 in the word Seven). It refers to my week #2 long run. This one unfortunatly did not run (pun intended) quite as smoothly. You see, I've had a little (lot) of trouble with shin splints as of late. Yesterday, I thought I'd try something different to help out. I taped both of my legs from from the Knee to the Ankle, I thought this would help keep my musles in place but I must have done it a bit too tight. About 1.7 miles into my run, my knees were on fire and my thighs felt like they were going to buckle. Then nature decided to call (I had to pee)... well, when I ran off to the side of the road and stopped to ummmm... answer nature, my legs were no longer able to support me. It wasn't until I was stopped and toppled over that I realized the source of the problem. At that moment, my calves seized up and suddenly felt like somebody was hitting them with a bat, a bat made of lead covered in broken glass while my legs were already on FIRE. I started ripping the tape off of my freshly shaved (yup) legs, and it was like a breath of fresh air. Once that tape was off, I had another battle, this one was much more difficult, the was the battle to continue. Then I remembered my running partner was probably about a half a mile ahead of me at this point and I wasn't about let her get the best of me. 5.3 more miles later (1.7 was already taken care of at that point.), we were at the finish line. I won the battle with my brain, the hardest test I've had so far.

I also need to give thanks to my lovely wife and her help taking care of my splinty legs, after a couple of bubble baths and calf massages, my legs are already starting to feel much better. So Kristen, thank you.

Anywho, for those of you still left reading, I'll leave you with another poetic treat.

Roses are Red,

Violets are Blue,

Pulp Fiction really was a very violent and disturbing movie and I was just giving Jaye a hard time I don't actually endorse that movie, I just actually liked that scene because it was pretty dang funny,

The End...

I Did it!!!!!!

I wolfed down that Emu like it was COOL!!! I have to give a little shout out to my running partner Ashley for the added support, it helped a ton! Also a little shout to UnderArmor for really proving why their crap is so expensive, it works, and it's amazing. Here's how it went down,

Mile 1. 8:04 a.m.

Jon's Brain: "What the @$&# are you doing!!!???!!"

Legs: "I'm with Brain, What the H-E-Double Hockey dude"

Mile 2. 8...something (no longer keeping track at this point)

Brain: "You can turn back now, it's not too late!!!"

Legs: "you're a bas#$#%"

Mile 3.

Brain: ".....(brain workin slower).... ummm.. great, REAL great! now no matter what we do... we're screwed, 3 miles forward... 3 miles back, I'm out of here!!!"

Legs: "No fair! we don't get to stop until you stop him!!!"

Mile 4.

Brain....done

Legs.... Pissed

Mile 5.

Brain: "You know, this could happen, this idiot may actually carry us there."

Legs: "No dummy, it has to happen or we don't get home, and WE are carrying us there!"

Mile 6.

Brain: "Shoot Yeah!!!"

Legs: "I hate you and your friggin brain!"

So there you have it, my body came together in glorious...ummm.... harmony. Now, off to Village Inn for some buttery pancakes, a Dr.Pepper, and some pie.

The first test...

Alright kids... it's here.

I'm looking at my clock, it is 6:40am, which means if I were in Hawaii... I'd still be an idiot for waking up before noon on my Saturday off...

But all that doesn't matter, I'm just about to go on a 6 mile run. I have never run 6 miles in a row, the only time I ever came close was in Moab with my family almost 6 YEARS ago when I ran 5... not too mention it was Moab in March, not Salt Lake in January.

My John Dad (by the way, to both "Dads" involved, I hope you understand that the name reference is simply to avoid confusion to the MASSES that read my blog, and not some twisted form of discrimination) asked a very good question in my comments section about the Marathon in reference to a marathon... He asked, "How do you eat an elephant? Wait... who would want to???" .... noted. In the mean time, I'll keep training and when that day comes, I'll stuff my face full of Elephant, but today... it's an Osterige (Osterige? Osterige? Osterige?)... or maybe an Emu (Osterige?) that I'll be devouring...

Shibby???? What the.........?

Shibby

The Origin...

I'm not sure that people reading my blog will get too far past the "shibby" word... without knowing a little about it's past... It's nothing fancy, it just happens to be from the only movie to ever win an Oscar for BEST MOVIE EVER MADE!!! I know you are asking yourself, What great motion picture art have I missed out on? Well, the truth is, this movie didn't quite make it to the Oscars, or the theatre for that matter. The movie is quite stupid actually, yet this word, this beautiful word (shibby) just seemed to stick with me. It was their (the people in the movie) favorite word, it was their word for "cool," or "sweet." Long story long, it became my bowler name, and blew up from there. It has been my licence plate, the name of my first car, pet, and is the origin of just about every password I have ever had to use (trust me, you don't want to try to guess any of them). For those of you brave enough, maybe drink 1 or 2 bottles of cough syrup, pop in "Dude, Where's My Car?", and enjoy the ride.

Disclaimer: Please do not actually drink 1 OR 2 bottles of Cough Syrup, or you will die... an idiot.

Also, any and all Grammatical, Punctual, Spelling or other English class things I didn't do well in type items that appear in the above written statement, or any statement that is written, whether above or otherwise, is postioned strategically at all times for thematic elements and dramatization, which also goes for Run-on sentences that primarily talk about B.S. so as to cover any and all Grammatical, Punctual, Spelling or other English class things I didn't do well in...

The Challenge going forward... and the Marathon

Since I was a kid, I always thought it was pretty incredible the amount of Marathons my Tim Dad has run (ran? runned? ranned?). So I always told myself that I would at least match that number as a tribute to his commitment to health. Well, I'm running Marathon #1 on May 17th! Crazy huh?!? I officially started my 18 week training with a 3 mile run today, and think I might actually go through with this, so keep your calendars open so you can be witness to the Finish Line/Funeral that I will be the star of, either one should be a doozy (duzie? doozie? duzy?).

But Jon, you said "The Challange going forward... "AND" the marathon." So what is the challenge if a marathon is not challenge enough?

I'm glad you asked (you did ask). The real challenge going forward is our little (huge) Oakley. For those of you who don't know, Oakley is our Siberian Husky dog. He is incredibly beautiful, he has a brown and a blue eye and should cap out at about 60 pounds (I'm pretty sure he weighs about 900 right now). Lynette Mom was nice enough to get us some very needed training for our boy. He's never been bad, or aggressive, just very... VERY hyper. So we just needed some tips to get his nerves down. It hasn't taken long to learn that we are his pet, not the other way around. But so far it has gone very well, and I think as long as we stay consistent, Mom's generous gift will do wonders for my little family.

Well, I've written a lot today... sorry, I'm a rambler, but I will leave you with another little gift. Even cooler than yesterdays killer poetic beauty.

If you read carefully, and in the right timeframes, and meter

and if the words are organized differently, and changed completely, then

my entire post can be read in Iambic Pentameter (Aembyc Pantanometor? Shakespearian Writing Poemy Thingy? Retarded thing I had to learn in school but never actually understanded what the crap the teacher was talking about no matter how many time she made me read "Romeo and Hamlet" or whatever? (is that like the Brokeback Mountain of the Renaissance or something????))

Anywho, goodnight!!

I have officially joined BLOG nation!!

That's right folks, I gave in. I'm the ultimate conformist.

I have 3 hotmail accounts, 2 Yahoo accounts, 2 MySpace accounts (between my wife and I), 2 XBox Live GamerTags (shi66y & xGR1Fx for those interested), a Facebook account... AND NOW my very own BLOG.

I actually think that this will be the best contribution that I have to the Internet Machine, as one or two of you may know, I'm not exactly the best person to try and contact or get a call back from. For that I apologize, but for my first action on my new found blog duty, I will officially announce my #1 New Year's Resolution for the year 2008 (Starting right now).

I WILL RETURN ANY AND ALL CALLS/TEXTS/WALL POSTS/EMAILS BY THE END OF THE DAY RECIEVED, NO EXEPTIONS.

For those of you who don't know already, this is a pretty big commitment for me. And I truly think that this will bring me closer to my family and friends.

P.S. I don't know if I'm supposed to write blogs this way.. (as though I'm talking to an audience) but you're still reading so I guess it works. Well, I'll leave you for now, but not empty handed, here's a little poem to get you on your way...

Roses Are Red,

Violets are Blue,

Did you know that Now Blogger saves your drafts automatically!

that's cool...

The End...