292 minutes...

That's right folks... That is how long it took me to travel 26.22 miles on nothing but the feet God gave me. Am I satisfied you ask? NO! Why? While I did beat Oprah's first marathon (and SHE had a personal trainer), I was totally smoked by my running partner Ashley, who beat me by a clean 30 MINUTES and was no where near my personal goal...but... In my defense, I am fat and quite lazy... so... THERE!

Here is a little breakdown of marathon day...

3:45 am (yeah, this is a relevant moment, which should have been my first sign that this was NOT what I was built for:)) Wake up...

4:00 am Ashley and I left for Ogden

5:00 am Load onto the "Full Marathon" bus, that's right folks, not the half, not the relay, but the BAMF Full Marathon bus :)

5:40 am Arrive at the Starting point...pee

5:41 am "squished" our way in between people to get as close as you can to one of the flaming barrells, where I met a nice lady by practically spooning her for a favorable spot by the fire...

7:00 am BANG!! The Race begins

I'm moving into mileage and time...

After 5 miles, I'm feelin good folks, I've got a 8:40 pace and zero fatigue.

At about 11 miles, I see my favorite sign being held by a little girl that said, "Toenails are for Sissies" at which point I became extremely apparent of not just my toenails, but every single part of my body...that little brat ;)

At the halfway point (13.1) We were at about 122 minutes, doing AWESOME! So well in fact, I thought, let's do that again...

Except that the next 13.1 miles were not as easy, as I watched my running partner sail up the only real hill as I hobbled my way sloppily towards the top, that is where I started thinking, this is absolutely no fun at all :)

When I finally got to the top, I took a quick Port-O-Steve stop (I don't like the actual name), and took off my cut-off that was like an oversized sponge at this point, and kept goin.

Now I was at mile 17 at a little after 10:00 am and was having that argument between my brain and legs from my blog a ways back, and I'll tell you what. The marathon arranger people must have known that this was a hard part, cuz this is where people really started getting into it. Here was the reward, people cheering you on, telling you how awesome you are even though you are trying to get out of the way of the octogenarian's that are completely dominating you. And this is where aid stations came at every single mile.

I finally got a little extra inspiration when a guy who had to have had at least 200 pounds and about 30 years on me passed me up wearing a t-shirt that said, "if you can read this, I'm not in last place." ... .... Yeah, that's all I needed to get me through the last few miles.

Stay in front of that guy, that was my new goal.

And finally, the final stretch, about 6 blocks away was the finish line, but I still couldn't pick up the pace. I kept "see-sawing" with a couple who had probably been married for about 200 years. Then, at 22nd street (I was finishing at 25th), there was my mom cheering me on, at 23rd I saw my beautiful wife who even got in and ran for a sec with me giving me an extra boost. Then my Dad (Tim) halfway down that block. At 24th, there was my running partner, who looked like she had time to shower, take her kid for a walk, go hit a bucket with her husband, and get her hair done by the time I got to that point... At which point, I finally found a little extra, and full on sprinted that last block.

Now it's 3 days later... not sore... feel good, except for one minor thing to remember for next time... I am completely FRIED (Sunburnt). Look at something red, I could be hiding in that spot right now... scared (you should be). I can't even go get myself a massage because it's so bad, putting on a shirt is more painful than miles 17-26 combined... so dumb... the wife tried to warn me. I was all like, don't tell me my BUSINESS woman, and now she is all like SUCKA, I told you so... and she did. I keep telling her that she needs to remind me how she is always right... Never-the-less, Kristen has been very sweet to put Aloe on my back even though she tried to help prevent it in the first place... I couldn't have done all this without her support.. Thanks Baby...

But the moral of the story is...

I did it. But I'm not done folks, I'm not happy with 4:52:15 (this is the first time I've disclosed this by the way). So mark it on your calendars folks, April 18, 2009. Salt Lake City Marathon. Ashley is not going to be able to run this one (she hopes, and I'll let her tell you why), so it won't count for that little battle, but I fully intend on kickin my own @$$ in #2.

I ran a marathon

in under 5 hours

which basically means

I have super powers

I'm not sure yet

If I'll use them for good

But it is cool to know

that I could if I would

but first things first

A killer costume I need

So tell me what you want to see

your ideas I will read

I totally beat Oprah

Which basically means

that all of her accomplishments and charities and money is not as me cool cuz I did better so THERE!

The End